The five ‘love languages’ in leadership
If you have had the good fortune to read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you'll know that these are: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch and gifts. The basic premise is that every human being has a vital 'love language' and sees different acts as expressions of love. So then it stands to reason that showering someone with gifts when it's not their 'love language' can only serve to irritate/alienate. So how does this theory translate into the leadership sphere?
If we could find out what each of our employees' 'love language' is, by carrying out relevant small 'acts' in the right 'language', we should be able to inspire, motivate and connect to the individuals in our teams.
So to translate Chapman's love language into the company setting:
1. Words of affirmation = Recognition
I've worked with many individuals over the years who thrive on the limelight. Being singled out for specific achievements (no matter how small), words of praise - or even blatant flattery – all put a spring in this person's step!
2. Acts of service = Support
Conversely, I've known others who would rather die than be singled out for anything. However, these people thrive when someone offers to help them finish a task, when a colleague backs them up in a project, when their boss rolls up their sleeves and helps clear the backlog. This breeds undying loyalty.
3. Quality time = development
Support would be meaningless to someone who thrives on continual development. Being nominated to go on a development programme, being selected to attend a global training course, being given access to new tools, trends and being enabled to complete their degree, will have this individual on top of the world.
4. Physical touch = one-on-one time
To equate physical touch was a little more difficult as we all know that, taken literally, this would land people in hot water! However, if we think about it, it's about intimacy. This means that one-on-one time with this individual would go down a treat. So creating opportunities for this individual to (for example) have a weekly chat over coffee, ask about their family and tell them about yours, visit a client with you or have a brainstorming session will boost their self-esteem and build lasting bonds.
5. Gifts = rewards
This individual may look at spending one-on-one time with the boss like watching paint dry;
however, putting a prize up for grabs, dropping a gift on their desk, giving them a phenomenal stretch bonus will make this colleague likely to take off like a rocket.
So in summary, to get to know your colleagues 'leadership love language', look at these aspects:
1. Recognition,
2. Support,
3. Development,
4. One-on-one time, and
5. Rewards.
Once you do this, see how easy it is to build loyalty, trust and garner support. I dare you. Try it...
 |
After fifteen years of corporate general management, and a great deal of valuable experience gained in several high-level executive posts, Shirley was driven by a desire to share and teach using transformational training models which would deliver impactful results in organisations. In her role as head of operations for Lumina Learning Shirley qualifies and accredits new business and client practitioners in the use of the Lumina Learning suite of development tools and their application. She supports and develops the SA practitioner network. |
